Counting Down!!

FIVE MORE DAYS!!!!

Yesterday it hit me like a Mack truck...in less than one week, I will experience the most life changing moment in my existence so far. It is a little strange to know ahead of time, but I guess all parents-to-be do to some extent. It is so overwhelming to know that in one brief moment I will go from living the single, carefree, no one to answer to, no one to worry about life, to POW!!.....worry about everything, responsible for a whole other person, coupon clipping, overly protective MOMMY!!! I just cannot fathom what my initial reaction to seeing my son (even typing that seems a little weird) for the first time and facing the reality that he is in fact a little person...not just a photo-on-my-computer-screen idea.

PLEASE don't misunderstand...I am SO excited and anxious I would go today if I could! Never for a second have I doubted my decision. I'm not scared in the least....well, maybe that is a little bit of a fib. I am scared a little, but not for me. I'm scared for him...wondering how all the changes he has endured and will soon endure have affected his little mind, heart, and soul. It breaks my heart to think of his heart breaking, being separated from the mommy he has known since shortly after he came into this world. I'm thinking (and hoping) this is just proof that I am officially, undeniably, a MOMMY and am experiencing all the feelings that come along with that.

I know I'll have lots of support from my family (and Stacey, if you are reading this, I hope you know that includes you! You ARE his Tia!!). And, I know I'll have lots of support from friends I've had for years and friends I've made throughout this journey.

I know I'll be fine...although I'm far from perfect, I know me and I know how committed I am to being a great parent. I've had so many good role models in that area...I know what it takes and I know what's require to make a child feel safe and loved...at least I think I do. Never has there been a better example of that than my Granny Lella who helped raise me and I know she'd be very proud of me and what I am doing. I just wish he could have known her and known Granny's love. Even without her here on Earth, I know he'll feel it...through my family who were all touched by that love.

Well....this turned into a bit of a rambling....but I guess that's kind of the point of a blog!

Till next time..........